


Meeting Yourself

by siephilde42



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crowley Was Raphael Before He Fell (Good Omens), Crowley meets Raphael, Don’t copy to another site, Established Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Not between Aziraphale and Crowley of course, Post-Canon, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 16:10:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20361343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siephilde42/pseuds/siephilde42
Summary: Due to a glitch in the time-space continuum, Crowley meets Raphael, which is as uncomfortable as one would imagine."So... you are an evil creature?", Raphael asks."Yes", Crowley replies. "No", Aziraphale says, at the same time.





	Meeting Yourself

**Author's Note:**

> Just another thought experiment "What would happen if Crowley and Aziraphale had the opportunity to talk to Raphael?"

_You have got to be kidding me_, Crowley thought. Obviously, there was a glitch in the time-space continuum. A severe one.

Yellow snake-like eyes stared at golden orbs which seemed to contain thousands of small galaxies.

_This is not going to be fun_, the demon determined.

The golden orbs very briefly flickered away to take the surroundings in. Ironically, he had appeared next to Crowley's second favourite statue.

_Don't ask if they are fighting, please. That would be very awkward._

Thankfully, the unexpected visitor did not. Instead, he turned his gaze back to Crowley and stared at him for quite a time, before he finally asked "You're me, aren't you?"

The demon chuckled nervously. "Well, in some sense I am, yes."

The angel frowned. "Why don't I sense an angelic aura, then? ... Where are your wings?"

_That went downhill fast. _Crowley chuckled again. "Oh! I'm living among humans, you see... beings made in Her image... so I'm used to have them tucked in."

The other's tone turned sharp. "Show me your wings."

"I... would rather not." With panic, Crowley realised what was going to happen next. You see, it is a mistake to imagine angels as nice, as opposed to demons. Sure, angels are supposed to be _good_. Does not mean that they are nice. Most of the time, they are _fierce_.

As he had anticipated, the angel grabbed him and shoved him into the wall. Crowley groaned in pain, an invisible force pulling at his wings. He tried to resist, but they popped out all the same.

"_Black_? Why are they black? And your eyes... they look like..." The angel searched for words. Of course, from his perspective, animals had not been created yet, so he could not draw the obvious comparison. "Like... They are _hideous_", he snarled. His grip tightened. "What sort of creature are you?"

Crowley stammered. "I...I really sh...should not tell you. Time paradox... paradoxes and all..."

The angel was shouting now, gripping both of his arms. "I command you to _show_ me."

_No. No. You shouldn't see this._

But the other one was already rummaging in his memories. With some effort, Crowley prevented him from getting directly to the images of the Fall. He could not avoid other, more general thoughts and feelings surfacing, though.

The first thought the angel encountered in his head was this. _I'm unforgivable. Not worthy._ The negative feeling was overwhelming, so overwhelming that a violent impulse overcame the angel. _Smite it_, he thought to himself and raised his hand, more unconsciously than consciously.

Before he could act on his impulse or maybe refrain from it, a ball of light, small but powerful, smashed into him and threw him onto the ground.

Crowley blinked. In the door frame, facing him, stood another angel. _His_ angel, who stared at him in horror for some moments, before he rushed over to the demon.

"Crowley! Are you all right?"

"Yes... but you just attacked _him_. He will..."

"Dear, you are _bleeding_", Aziraphale determined with a worried voice.

"Not _now_, angel. We have other problems than a bit of blood", Crowley protested. He could feel Aziraphale's healing power flow over him, though. For a very short moment, he felt relief at the disappearance of all pain in his body. The relief vanished very fast when he saw the other angel getting up from the floor, face distorted in anger.

"How dare you attack _me_?"

Because the angel had had his back to Aziraphale, this was the first time he caught a glimpse of his face. The Angel of the Eastern Gate gasped. "You're _him_... What..."

Crowley threw in an explanation. "Glitches in time, I think."

"Yes, but... _who_ are you?", Aziraphale enquired.

The red-haired angel straightened up and gave Aziraphale a menacing glare. "Don't you recognise me? _Me??_"

The demon sighed. "Well, She made the other angels forget your face, apparently."

Aghast, the angel exclaimed "What? Why would She do that? And why are you telling me now? You refused to tell me anything just before."

Another sigh. "Well, you saw Aziraphale...", he waved at the principality, "...so, like it or not, we will need to wipe your memories of this incident, either way. So if it is all the same, I will tell you now."

But the angel was ignoring him and staring at Aziraphale. "You don't have any idea who I am? Do you even remember my name in Heaven?"

Something in Aziraphale's mind shifted around, but he could not consciously grasp it. A distinct memory. An inconsistency. _Four_, he thought. _Four... what?_ "I'm sorry", he said aloud. "If I know your name, I cannot connect it with your face. Just tell me your name."

"Raphael", came the answer, surprisingly quiet.

"Raphael? As in ... _archangel_ Raphael?" Suddenly, the fog was lifted from his mind. _Four archangels. There are supposed to be four archangels. And one of those should be named Raphael. But instead, we..._ "Oh, good Lord", he bursted out. "How could I not notice that Sandalphon isn't supposed to be there?"

"Mind block, angel", Crowley said. She's pretty good at such things, you know." He scoffed. "Good old mind manipulation."

"But... why didn't you tell me?", Aziraphale demanded.

"Because it doesn't matter anymore, angel. I'm just a shadow of what I once was."

"What... what happened?", Raphael asked.

_That's going to hurt_, Crowley thought.

"You fell out of Heaven, you see. She casted you out."

At this, the archangel flinched back. "No... why?"

"For asking too many questions and hanging with the wrong crowd, basically."

"_What_ are you?"

"A creature of Hell. A demon. A fallen angel."

"Hell?", Raphael wondered.

"A... a place for everything that is not good but bad. Evil."

The archangel looked at him with terror.

"So... you are an evil creature?", Raphael asked.

"Yes", Crowley replied. "No", Aziraphale said, at the same time.

Crowley's eyes darted towards Aziraphale. "What the hell are you talking about? Of course I'm evil, that's the bloody job description."

"No. You don't tamper with free will, in contrast to other demons. You create mischief on a larger scale, sure, but you don't... corrupt them. Not if you aren't explicitly asked to do so."

"So I'm maybe milder than the other demons. Doesn't make me good."

"No. But doing good does."

Crowley spread his arms in disbelief, palms up and eyebrows frowning. "Doing _good_? When have I been doing good?"

"You helped me out of the Bastille and this church."

Crowley laughed, and it was not a pleasant laugh. "Utterly selfish actions, in the end."

"You also helped avoid the apocalypse and save the planet."

"Also selfish. I just didn't want to lose you."

"What about the children, then?"

Crowley's face fell. "What... what children?", he asked with a thin voice.

"The ones you hid in the belly of the Ark. And don't claim that you did that to impress me. You never realised I noticed."

"I...", the demon broke off. After all, there was no valid counterargument for this. He really had not noticed that Aziraphale _knew_.

In a confused tone, the archangel asked "Children?"

"Young humans, you see", Aziraphale replied. He swallowed hard and turned towards Raphael, continuing. "You see, She was of the opinion that humankind was rotten and needed to start anew. So She flooded the earth, killing most humans, and animals, and plants, too. A lot of innocent creatures. And Crowley here, he took as many children as he could carry and saved them. So, that's my argument for him not being evil. Not entirely, at least."

The archangel had gone very pale. "Why... why would She kill all these innocent beings?"

Aziraphale shrugged. "I don't know. Ask_ Her_. Then again, maybe don't. Anyway, my point is, _I_'m supposed to be good. But I stood there and didn't do a thing, for fear She might punish me for it. _He_, he didn't care."

"I see", the archangel replied. He could feel the love filling the room. Aziraphale's love for Crowley and the other way round. _So... trading Her love for - this?_ But it was not just about him, he remembered. "You mentioned the apocalypse."

"Uh, yes. It was scheduled to happen a while ago, and we helped stop it."

"So... if I return to my time and don't ask that many questions and I don't fall, it might result in the apocalypse happening?"

"It might, yes", Crowley confirmed. "Of course, that's part of the Great Plan, but..."

With a whoosh, a light blue oval swirl appeared beside them. It looked like the thing that had spewed Raphael out earlier. Crowley tensed, mentally preparing for attacking Raphael, should he decide to flee through the portal thing.

Luckily, that was not necessary. The archangel smiled and determined "Well, in that case I will go with your suggestion and wipe my memory of this incident as soon as I'm back."

"Good. That's good", Crowley croaked.

"I should hurry, then. But one last question. Don't you ever wish you hadn't fallen?"

Crowley swallowed. "Uh, I... well, in the first time after the Fall, I certainly did. I...", his voice trailed off. When had he reached that point? The point at which he still hated himself for being a demon but no longer wished to be back up there? The books in the church? The age of Shakespeare? The oysters? Eden? He was not sure. He was sure of his answer, though. "It's fine now."

"Well, I'll take you by your word, ... Crowley." With this, the archangel stepped into the swirl. As soon as he had gotten through, it collapsed behind him.

"Huh", the remaining angel remarked. "That was... weird."

"You're telling me", Crowley sighed and pinched his forehead. "I need a drink. One for you too, angel?"

"Yes, please", Aziraphale said, and Crowley scurried off.

When the demon came back from the kitchen and put the glass into Aziraphale's hand, the angel spoke up.

"You know... I don't think you have changed _that_ much."

"Not that much? I'm a bloody demon."

"Except for that. And, actually... you seem to be a bit nicer now."

"I'm not..."

"You just made a Vanilla Bourbon for me, even if I didn't ask for it. _You're_ nice."

"Ugh. I won't be able to convince you of the opposite, will I?"

"Never, my dear. Cheers."

"Cheers."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm assuming the GO universe follows the classification of (arch)angels as mentioned here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angels_in_Judaism#Michael,_Gabriel,_Uriel,_and_Raphael. 
> 
> A wonderful comic on the headcanon "Crowley tried to save as many children from the Flood as possible" can be found here. https://cogitaeworks.tumblr.com/post/186993883365/i-remember-reading-somewhere-that-noahs


End file.
